Mutual Friendship Or Something More?

Posted on December 6, 2011 by

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By: Hannah Yi

 

Can a guy and a girl be just friends or does it always lead to something more?  I recently watched the movie Friends with Benefits, starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake, which is about two friends who decide to add the simple act of sex into their friendship.

 Their relationship becomes more than just a friendship and things get complicated.   So the question is: why does adding sex into a perfectly fine relationship always lead to complications?

 

The answer is not about the relationship itself but on the way a man’s interpretation of sex differ from that of a woman’s.  Could it be that since guys are more physical and girls are more emotional, obstacles will always incur in an FF (friends with benefits) relationship?

 

When two people of the opposite sex become close friends, the attraction on both ends get stronger.  And while it may be a beneficial decision for both partners to start an NSA (no strings attached) relationship, at the end, it always leads to some sort of complications. 

 

Let’s break it down to the physiological aspect of it all.

 

In Psychology Today, it states that when women have sex, oxytocingets released and in return it drives them to attach to someone who may be the potential father of a future baby.  The chemical released makes women want to bond with their male counterparts.  For men, their bodies release testosterone, which drives them off to go find some other women with whom to spread their biological material.  For women, the wanting to bond with someone who does not want to bond can leave women feeling disappointed, confused and hurt.  When one gets too attached to the other person, it can lead to jealousy and destroy a perfectly healthy friendship.

 

Just like in the movie, both of the character’s personal feelings got a hold of their friendship.  I’m not saying a FF can never be successful, all I’m saying is it can be pretty risky and complicated.